S&T56 Roast beef!

Episode 56 wishes a Happy Birthday to John Waters, Jack Nicholson, and Aaron Spelling.

Christian Slater was on Saved by the Bell. British TV is more real. Visits to the police, Applebee's, and the movies. Kick Ass get a thumbs up from the S&T. Nessa had no idea what a boner was. Cake balls! Auntie Vera's birthday is on May 7th! Send presents to PO Box 561, Woodland Hills, CA 91365! A new reason to go to Vegas. Derek's going to Scotland and may come back if Iceland cooperates. Beef burgers! It's tight.

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S&T55 Mike Tyson's Punchout In Your Ass

Episode 55 wishes a Happy Birthday to Elizabeth Montgomery, Seth Rogan, and Emma Watson.

Just call me hermaphrodite! We got a little captain in us. Scared of the Netty pot. Went to the casina! Fresh and Easy! Derek's new girlfriend from Paisley. Dug it in your butt. Pubies! Spit roast! In Scotland, fag = cigarette. Stars and Tartan Karaoke! Poker Face.

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S&T54 Find Nemo and Go on Captain Emo

Derek and Nessa bum around Disneyland for the day. Warning, the part where Derek and Nessa are on Space Mountain is super loud, sorry to your ears!

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S&T53 Get Your Nair On

Episode 53 wishes a happy birthday to Queen Latifah, Charlie Pride, and Adam Lavine.

Rumor has it, Congrats to Ricky for his weight loss, Derek's dental visit, Derek's "wonderful" habit, You're fired, Derek plus curry equals ruined! Alice in Wonderland in 3D! Go see Believe, The Eddie Izzard story! Happy Anniversary PiMC!


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S&T52 Neck Worble

Episode 52 wishes a Happy Birthday to Sam Donaldson, Thora Birch, and Nessa's sister Neva!
Acceptance speech overload, Nessa's harem, American Idol, car maintenance, Derek shows restraint, Derek's shoes, and lots of TV talk.

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S&T51 Fucking or Fighting

Episode 51 wishes a Happy Birthday to Antonio Vivaldi, Patricia Heaton, and Chaz Bono!

Nessa has bronchitis, Hurrah! Derek's spanking adventure, The Tudors, spoiler alerts, and they were hairy and they liked it! Happy 100th DQYDJ! Go check out Greetings From Nowhere at visitnowhere.com! Stupid fix-it ticket! Be e e e atch! #5, back to 3, back to 5!


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S&T50 Prune Dick (Sorry Bjorn)

Episode 50 wishes a Happy Birthday to Leslie Nielsen, Tina Louise, and Burt Reynolds!

You betcha! New mixer, shopping, hi lesbians, TMI, and the Casina. Vacant and scrambled. Yeah, you like that?! Five packs a day! Put it in your mouth!

Oh Hey, don't forget to vote on the poll! What Gaga Song will Derek be...interpreting! DO IT!

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S&T49 Cooking Cat Food

Episode 49 wishes a Happy Birthday to Rosa Parks, Alice Cooper, and Natalie Imbrulia!

Quick history lesson. Apologies for the sound quality. Type 1 hoarding. Pig! Michael Jackson on the Grammys. Poor Haiti. Derek the terminator. Possible ZooCasts. Listen to the BFO! Vote on the poll! Yes I know it's Just Dance. Bonus hair. Lady Gaga, be my friend.

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S&T48 Prophylactics Make Me Feel Like a Big Man

Episode 48 wishes a happy birthday to Andy Rooney, Faye Dunnaway, and LL Cool J.

Lip his lips! Casina! Derek's product testing. Old and busted. Story from Ye Auld Scotland. Live it Up and Keepin' it Real! Team Conan! Recycled movies.

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S&T47 Ripley's Believe It Or Not

Episode 47 wishes a Happy Birthday to Paul Revere, Kenny Loggins, and Nicholas Cage.

Twenty-ten or Two thousand and ten? Chrima and New Years. Food poisoning, hurrah! Lunch with listener Alex. Mennonite vs. Amish. Racist! Racist! Sharing means caring, have a shot my n-word. Shout out to Foul Monkeys.

Send your hate mail to Derek at starsandtartan@gmail.com

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S&T46 Festively Offensive!

Episode 46 wishes a Happy Birthday to Susan Lucci, Eddie Vedder, and Corey Haim.

Jeremy has spoken. Chrima Eve tradition. Family phone calls. Cookie Party '09! Talking to the cat! Rants about old people. Derek ruins a surprise. Chrima television shows. We are not a political show! Dedication to my sister.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

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S&T45 Bugs and Boxes!

Episode 45 wishes a Happy Birthday to Eugene Levi, Duff Goldman, and Milla Jovovich...and Bill Pullman.

Chrima birthdays. Chrima breakdown. Push it! Chrima newsletters! #8 breakdown. Marital bliss shows its ugly head. Why do I have a crock pot box? We do not have bugs! Shoe boxes are good! I didn't delete it! Long distance dedication.



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S&T44 Three Thumbs Up

Episode 44 wishes a Happy Birthday to Susan Dey, Bobby Flay, and Derek!

What does Derek and David Carradine have in common? 30 is old. Rice Crispies' cake. Super Mario is hard! Stories from Ye Auld Scotland. Nosey Mom. Thanks for the plugs! Sorry Granda!

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S&T43 Brune Chicken Brune Coo

Episode 43 wishes a Happy Birthday Andy Williams, Ozzy Osborne, and Scotty the Little Aussie Battler.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! 125 a day. Facebook stalking. Thanksgiving. Beloved Casina. Top Ramen follows me on twitter. Quantity, not quality. Sorry Jesus! Old people shouldn't tongue in public. Say brown! Simple Derek. James Lipton time.

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S&T42 Penis, HELLO!

Episode 42 wishes a Happy Birthday to Dick Cavett, Ted Turner, and Larry King!

They both breath. S & T is a year old! Dinner with Miss Wes, Tim Corrimal, and Ron Prada Soho! Check our the group recording we did at There are Some Who Call Me Tim. A new job for Ramble Redhead? Derek isn't the only one getting abused. Email us your address for Christmas cards! There are some who think I'm Irish. Vote for Big Fatty Online at podcastawards.com! You can vote once a day through the end of November!

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S&T41 Gimmie the List!

Episode 41 wishes a Happy Birthday to Bryan Adams, Art Garfunkel, and Kevin Jonas!

Everything I Do, I Do it For You. The Douchebags and the Ghost Hunters. We Like To Git R Dun At Our House. Pop a Pig. Bob Dole. School days. Lasist! That was a nice dinner. Aunt Marcia. Derek's mum saw a ghost! Ding Ding Ding! Thanks Teri for the Spanish junk and stuff!

Thanks to TWSS for the extended intro!

Next week is Stars & Tartan's one year anniversary!

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S&T40 Did You Give Her a Derek Sandwich?

Episode 40 wishes a happy birthday to Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, and Winona Ryder!

She's 38?! This is it! No more death this year! Johnny 5 alive! Go check out NormaJeans6thtoe on youtube! There were no azzes backing up! Mr. G! Braceface!

Thanks to The Gravitas for the intro!

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S&T39 Back Dat Azz Up

Episode 39 wishes a Happy Birthday to Brian Boitano, Curly Howard, and Christopher Lloyd!

1.21 Gigawatts (not seven nessa)! Monopoly Nerds. Ghost Lab and Nessa does not watch the scary movies. Thank you so much Joe from Dallas for the package (honk!) and Walt for the Christmas bliss! Skydiving has been cancelled.

Thanks Kevin for the intro!

Email us at starsandtartan@gmail.com

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S&T38 Acrotomophilia or Nubby Fuckers

Episode 38 wishes a Happy Birthday to Richard Carpenter, Vanessa Marcil, and Penny Marshall!

We are lazy. You're a liar! Super fast run down of Disney. Babysitting. Weirdca.com. Christmas planning, yes it's only October. Voicemails lead to Derek making himself laugh so hard he chokes.


Thanks Scotty for the intro!


Email us at starsandtartan@gmail.com
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S&T37 A Sea of Red Shirts

In this episode, Derek and Nessa recorded random messages on the iPhone and put it together as a show. We had a blast and will talk more in depth about our trip next week.

Email us at starsandtartan@gmail.com


Call us at 206-426-KNOB (5662)


You can find us in iTunes!


Don't have iTunes, download us here!